Yes i should have but i thought they'd be pleased. apparently i was wrong. i've already had an issue because i asked sisters ex if i could have the kids for day this weekend. Its Neices birthday and i wanted to surprise her. I made sure that it wasn't big sis' day with them. But because i forgot to ask their non resident parent i got into deep shit. thought it was sorted but apparently not.
so yesterday I got an email from Bis Sis Partner lets call him BSP, though i cant think of other things to call him. it was asking me not to include youingest neice in book. Fair enough you think, i didn't ask so am at fault.
If email had read something like HI notice nece's name in acknowldgements, you did't ask permission, we don't want it, please remove it
I'd have been upset but said, sorry removed the name and got on with my life.
However this is the email i got (edited for content)
I note that you have published a novel which is freely available on the XXX website, ordinarily I would congratulate you for that, maybe later I will.
However my current concern is your reference to my daughter on your opening page. You never requested my permission for this and neither did you request Big sisters. You have absolutely no right to place her name there without my express authority. Even if you were to disagree about requiring my permission then here are 2 points for you. 1 I don’t care and 2, its common courtesy to tell the parents of a 3 year old should you intend on using her for any purpose.
I see a commercial element to the way in which neice has been used, you are trying to say something about you own character and thus give your readers insight. To be frank the suggestion of a close relationship with Neice is just factually incorrect. In 3 years you have troubled yourself to see her on 2 occasions.
In all the time I have known Big sis I have been continually baffled by your belligerence to her. Sure she’s an alcoholic and sure she has some very regrettable behaviour. But what exactly gives you the right to treat her the way you do. I remember her telling you she was pregnant with neice and you and your sister’s response to that was hardly one of congratulations. Where are your spiritual qualities, like forgiveness, understanding, humility and empathy? When it comes to Newphew and Big Neice and situations like you butting in next Saturday when thats Big sis’s time with them, then as much as it grates me, I have no option but to stand aside. But, and here is an important point. If you in any way shape or form think that you can show the same attitude when it comes to neice, then think again.
Maybe I don’t need to say this but I will. If you think I am wrong and you are right, then that’s all I need to know to ensure I am free of regret.
You’ve got a bit of time here,Big Sis will not be happy that I sent this email. Think it over and draw your own conclusions, but get my daughter’s name removed from your book.
So not only don't i love my sister or neice, i'm using them for commerical purposes, and i'm a hateful person who doesn't care for anyone and its probably my fault she's an alcoholic (recoverying very well by the way) who has distanced herself from her whole family. Oh and by the way i never see my neice. Every time she came down to see mum or dad when we were still a family i was there. we stayd together for a week in Belfast. i send her gifts all the time and if it wasn't that they lived in Dundee they'd be sick of the sight of me by now.
My response was I did not do it for commerical reasons, i love my neice, i'm sorry, i'll remove her name from the book, and whats between my sister and me is between my sister and me and not his business. I also said that i had asked for the other two making sure it wasn't big sis's time so he was bang out of order.
he responds with its his business if anyone hurts her and he was glad he sent me that email
I'm very upset about this as you can imagine. i've been fighting depression because of work (a whole other story) and this pushes me over the edge. Plus twin has been ill and i'm worried about her. never mind my dad's recent stroke, my weight gain and everything else.
The worst of it is that I haven't heard from big sis since then. so i don't know if she agrees, or he did this off his own bat. Big sis would side with anyone over family and i'm scared i'm going to lose her and my neice. its hard enough with the limited access we have to the other too. and i still feel guilty over the mad mother, i don't think i can take much more
