why can't you just take some responsibility for your actions

So my Grandmother and Uncle are up for a visit. This is my mothers mother, so obviously we wanted to see her but didn't want to engage with the mother.  I arranged through FB to meet them for lunch at a nice little place near us.  Nanny and Uncle turn up, she looks wonderful, we have a nice meal and everything is going well.  We barely mention the mother but have a really nice time. 

Anyway after the meal Uncle suggests we go outside for pictures.  At this point Nanny grabs the evil twin and asks her why she is being so mean to my mother.  Evil Twin explains that it is not that simple and that Mother has a lot to answer for, but of course mother has poisoned  Nanny's mind.  Evil Twin explains that she said and did some very hurtful things and Nanny says "She doesn't know what she did wrong"  and "but she has apologised".  The thing is that she hasn't though.  Nanny then tells us we are killing our mother and asks if we will be happy when she is dead.

Evil twin can't take anymore and walks away.  Which leaves me trying to explain to my 88 year old grandmother what my mother did and why we had to make this choice.  She won't listen though and I can't make her.  But i stress that mum was very hurtful and she made me ill and that is why we have made this choice.  Nanny ends up in tears and Twin and I are in shock.

I want Nanny to know what really happened but its not something you can do in an hour and i don't want to hurt her.  How do you tell you last surviving Grandparent that their daughter is completely nuts

I knew you'd be back.

On Friday night Evil Twin and I both have prophetic dreams that mum gets in touch and causes us merry hell, stalking us and in mine Grandmother is also pregnant.

So four months non contact and I'm sitting in the phone shop on Saturday trying to sort out an upgrade when I get a texr on my phone.  It was from her.  I almost fell of my stool.  Phrased as if nothing had ever happened.

"Hi jeniflower Your Uncle is bringing up your Grandmother on Thursday and they are staying a while.  he will be chauffeuring her around as I can't drive.  They would like to see you perhaps on Saturday.  Contact me so that we can arrange something"

OMG it took me a day to respond after much discussion with the evil twin.  So We want to see the GM and Uncle, though they are bound to give us some grief about the mother figure, its just we can't risk her being there, it would be too much.  I had to think very carefully about how to respond and not invite further conversation. So i said I would contact the Uncle by the book of face and arrange things with him.

Have done this and now just need to confirm details with him.  The evil twin is leaving it up to me.  So all i need to worry about now is if she turns up.  that would just be chaos.  IS it all going to quick off again......

Oh and by the way, ‘can’t Drive my arse’, she can drive, she has a car, she just chooses not too.  Its been ages since her operation so she has no bloody excuse.  Fortunately it does mean she can’t stalk us so easily.