OK, so as you all know I've started talking to my mother after she went into hospital. On Sunday after meeting up with my father and my sisters kids, i went to visit her. She was in bed and I got half an hour of what was wrong with her followed by an hour of how much she loves dad, how she never got over him but how he beat her and us and she never wants to see him again. Then that he beat the nephew who told her and that the kids were scared of him. Followed by her issues with Twin and big sister's issues with Dad and why she and Big Sis weren't to blame. It got a bit testy and I had to draw the line on a number of occasions. I also did not tell her the kids were through.
Anyway I was almost at the stage of walking out when Twin texted me to say adopted niece's were at dads and if i didn't get there in ten minutes I wouldn't see them. I explained this to mum and then left.
She phones dad when i am there and leaves a long rambling message about how they have to get together to discuss the family. despite saying to me that she wants to stay away from him and promising me that she wouldn't phone him. Fortunately he ignores it.
That evening when I was settling down to make gingerbread shortbread my mother phoned and said she was coughing up blood and could I come round. I jumped in the car and headed round to find the ambulance there. from what it looked like she had had a bit of a nose bleed and swallowed some blood, but they had to take her in to be sure. the ambulance men had to ask her to stop talking on a number of occasions and asked me twice if she ever shut up. When we get to the hospital she talks incessantly at me for twenty minutes whilst waiting on the doctor.
No one thinks its serious but mum. they take a few tests and some blood and say because of her recent operation she'll need to stay in over night. Eventually at about 11pm , I get to leave but not before she makes a snide remark about my coat. and whilst in the hospital big sis texts me and calls me a f***ing Hypocrite for not telling her about dad seeing the kids. I told her to F** off. and about mum.
I then found out mum left dad a really nasty message about not knowing the kids where there. I'm thinking the hospital trip was in some way my punishment.
I don't get to bed till really late so stayed off work yesterday and spent most of it hanging around waiting for her. she finally gets home last night with no real diagnosis and the sneaking suspicion that she was attention seeking.
So today at lunch time I give her a call to see how she is and 1 hour later was still on the phone. So much for a lunch break. Firstly I get the complete medical history and mum I still don't want to know about your bowel movements. Then she starts in about how awful the hospital ward was and that if she ever gets to the age when she has to go into a home (110 apparently), that she will want me if I'm not to doolally, to help her kill herself. She talks about Digitas and Arthur's Seat (which by this point I'm contemplating throwing someone off it, if it would end the conversation), and then tries to incite a promise from me to help her kill herself. I try to ignore this but she presses continuously until i make a non committal response and she moves on to her burial and coffin.
Woodland burial (if you think I'll let you poison the earth as you have your family) and wicker coffin and no funeral. Just people who love her going out for a slap up meal (well that will be cheap). Definitely no cremation. I pointed out that it was so much fun talking to her but its water off a ducks back.
At this point, she moves onto how important family relationships are and how she would never stop me from seeing other members of the family and then tries to do just that. She starts father bashing again and then starts in on her relationship with Twin. I point out that I am at work and really don't want to talk about it but she keeps on and is getting louder and more agitated. She then denies again remembering anything she ever says in both the recent manic episode and the one where she chucked me out. Even though I correct her twice, she still insists on saying when I moved out. She goes on about what a good mother she was and to remember the good parts and not the bad parts and then says to remember all the bad things I've done to her at the same time.
At which point I lose it totally, tell her I don't want to talk about it any more, that I am really upset and that I'm at work and then I hang up on her. So thats 20 minutes crying in the loos, no mascara, puffy eyes and a red nose before my two o'clock meeting. So the next move is hers
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